Brick Wall

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

I did it.

I quit NaNoWriMo.

Don't get me wrong, I love the story I chose to write. But as I was writing, I was hit with a ton of inspiration for my main novel, Beginning of the End. This is the novel that I want to publish someday. So I couldn't just ignore the inspiration, now could I?

After dealing with feeling like a horrible writer for quitting, I pulled out Beginning of the End. And I got so much writing done. It's incredible. I stayed up till midnight or later almost every night, furiously typing away.

Two or three weeks later, my creative juices stopped flowing just as soon as they had started. Whoopee.

What do you do when you run face-first into a brick wall (writer-ly speaking)? I've come up with a few things that help. Usually.

Take a break
Sometimes it's good to take a break. 
Your brain can only work so hard before it explodes and oozes out your ear.

Read a book
Read a book with good writing--don't read twaddle. Look at how the experts write.
But don't let that snuff out your own voice.

Create a soundtrack
Writing just isn't the same without music (for me, at least).
Search for new music and create a playlist for your novel.
Every hero needs a theme song, you know.

Browse pinterest
Okay, so this is a dangerous one. Sometimes you get onto pinterest and
Just remember that once you find some inspiration, you need to write.

Go to a quiet place and daydream (my favorite)
What helps me the most is when I go off by myself and daydream about my novel.
Close your eyes and imagine everything about your novel,
even things that you don't plan on writing down. 
It helps. I promise.

Keep writing
This one is a no-brainer. Personally, I hate it when people tell me to 'just keep writing!'
Yes, I know that I need to. No, I don't want to. 
But we need to keep writing. It might be horrible. It might not advance the plot.
It will help, though. Eventually.

What do you do to get over writer's block?


Thankful for Grace

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Today I am thankful for....

friends that are family & family that are friends

a warm house

good food

dim Christmas lights and a fireplace

my soft camo sweatshirt

yoga pants





traveling safety 

a friend who still loves me even though I knocked her over when we went ice skating

the three amazing kiddos that I babysit

international travel

snow covered trees

awesome parents

siblings who are my friends for life

my cowboy boots

Jesus saving me

I could go on forever, because I have so much to be thankful for. Honestly, I don't understand why I'm so blessed. All I can do is thank God for all that He has given to me, even though I don't come close to deserving it. I guess that's what you call grace.

Grace is what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving.

What are you thankful for this year?


NaNo Eve

Friday, October 31, 2014

'Twas the night before NaNo and all through the house
My family was being annoyed by the click of my mouse.
My fingers were flying 'cross my keyboard with ease
And I was loading up on plenty of caffeine.

So tomorrow is NaNo. And I'm really excited, but also nervous. I stayed up outlining until one o'clock last night. My novel seems so much clearer now--meaning I actually know how it is going to end (and how I'm getting to the end.) I must admit though: part of my outlining was due to the fact that I just like to make lists and scribble on paper. 

I'm all stocked up on coffee for the opening weekend (I highly doubt it will last all weekend...), and I have my novel soundtrack all lined up. For once, I'm prepared to write my novel. All my plans will probably come smashing to the ground and I'll hate my original ideas after I finish writing my first chapter. It happens. I'll just go with the flow and see where the story takes me. 

The more I plan my novel, the more I fall in love with my characters. They really came to life this past week. I think all you other writers out there will understand; these characters of mine are so real. They are dear friends of mine, and I love spending time with them. That's why I have to write their story.

So here's to the coming month. I have a feeling that it's going to be a good month of writing and that things will go smoothly (I've been wrong before, but I'm choose to think positive). Pour your heart into your story--it won't be told unless you tell it. May the writing odds be ever in your favor, my friends.


Beautiful People // Kade and Emma

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I sat down to do some novel planning tonight and came to the conclusion that I need to know my characters a little better. So I raided the Beautiful People archives. I'm going to do my two main characters, Emma Chase and Kade Hagan. Boy oh boy, do I enjoy doing these!

Emma Isobel Chase

1.) Do they have any habits, annoying or otherwise?
She unconsciously twists her hair around her index finger when she's thinking. It annoys Kade. A lot. Lucas, on the other hand, finds it quite endearing.

2.) What is their backstory, and how does it affect them now?
Emma's mother was killed in an accident when Emma was five and her father was always away on business trips, so she was raised by her older sister and brother. In Emma's sophomore year, her sister got married, her brother joined the Navy SEALs, and her father went on another business trip--she hasn't heard from him since. Four years later, Emma is insecure because she feels abandoned by her family. She's willing to risk everything to find her father and not be alone anymore.

3.) How do they show love?
If Emma loves someone, she will do anything for them--from writing a smiley face on a post-it note and sticking it in their lunch box, to teaming up with two CIA agents.

4.) How competitive are they?
She's actually pretty competitive, though she hides it well. She especially loves to compete with Kade--she'll do almost anything to beat him.

5.) What do they think about when nothing else is going on?
Her family. Emma still stays in touch with her brother and sister, though it isn't as much as she would like. She also likes to imagine what her reunion with her father will be like when she finds him.

6.) Do they have an accent?
Nope, not at all.

7.) What is their station in life?
Emma is a college freshmen, so she's at the bottom of the totem pole (I'm not sure what her major is yet).

8.) What do others expect from them?
Not a lot. Most people take one look at her and see a quiet girl, so they assume that she either can't or won't do a lot. That only adds to Emma's insecurities. Then Emma meets Kade and Lucas, who quickly realize that Emma is a sweet girl who can actually be quite cheeky when you get to know her.

9.) Where were they born, and when?
Emma was born in Washington, D.C. on July 15, 1995.

10.) How do they feel about people in general?
Although Emma is a people person, people scare her. It takes her a while before she starts to feel comfortable around someone. She believes that most people can redeem themselves.


Kade Matthew Hagan

1.) Do they have any habits, annoying or otherwise?
Kade cleans his gun when he is upset. He does it mechanically, without even realizing what he's doing. Emma was the first person to notice.

2.) What is their backstory, and how does it affect them now?
Kade grew up watching James Bond movies--as a result, his childhood dream was to be a super-spy. When he was ten, his parents divorced and Kade moved to England with his mom, in hopes that he would become like the dashing agent 007. He soon got homesick for the U.S. though, so he moved back to America with his dad when he was 16. After he graduated, Kade decided to make his childhood dream a reality. So he joined the CIA. And he loves it.

3.) How do they show love?
It takes a while for Kade to get to the point where he starts to show love. He's used to putting up walls, because having feelings is dangerous in his line of work. When he finally does show his feelings, he is very subtle about it. He usually starts by making small compliments. Then he does things like emptying the garbage. The truth is, Kade is unsure of how to express love--it's been so long since he's felt love for anything other than his job.

4.) How competitive are they?
Very competitive. Kade wants to be the best at everything, though he does feel a little amused when Emma bests him. She's the only person that makes him feel that way.

5.) What do they think about when nothing else is going on?
Kade is constantly planning ahead--that's how he survives. But since he's been charged with watching Emma, he mainly thinks about keeping his real mission a secret.

6.) Do they have an accent?
He doesn't, although he has perfected his James Bond impression. He claims that it has made girls swoon. Emma and Lucas refuse to believe him.

7.) What is their station in life?
Kade is the golden boy of the CIA. He still has a way to go before he's at the top, but he's been promised a promotion if he can pull off this mission.

8.) What do others expect from them?
Everyone expects perfection from Kade. He has to pull off his current mission and it has to go off without a hitch.

9.) Where were they born, and when?
He was born in Washington, D.C. on January 7, 1991.

10.) How do they feel about people in general?
Kade has a cynical view of people, thanks to an issue he had--and still has--with his father. Except for his work friendship with Lucas, Kade finds it easier to be a loner. He isn't really a people person.

Does Beautiful People help you figure out your characters?


Beautiful Books::October

Saturday, October 11, 2014

First off--doesn't the word 'October' look so pretty? It's one of my favorite months.
Today I'm going to link up to Sky's Beautiful Books meme.
What is it? This is a 3 month link-up event that is designed to help writer's get 
to know their novel. It was created with NaNoWriMo in mind--which is good, because I am so lost with my NaNo novel for this year. So here goes.

1. What came first: characters or plot idea? Are you a plotter or a pantser?
The plot came first. Then it was followed by some of my favorite characters. I'm usually a panster, but this year is different--I actually know what I want to happen with this story. It's a nice feeling.

2. Do you have a title and/or a "back-cover-blurb"?
The working title is called "Chase", because the main character's last name is Chase and they are chasing down her dad. It's really lame, I know. But it's the only title I could come up with, and I'm the type of person who would rather have a lame title than no title. Here's a little synopsis:

Emma Chase never expected two strange men to be waiting in her living room when she came home from work. And she never dreamed that they would claim to have information on her missing father. When these strangers ask Emma to come with them, she goes against her better judgment and trusts them. In a matter of hours, Emma learns that her father works for the CIA and that her life is in danger. She is instantly relocated with two CIA agents to keep tabs on her. What Emma doesn't know is that the CIA hasn't been completely honest with her...

3. What wordcount are you aiming for when your novel is finished?
I'm hoping for at least 80,000 something. Let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

4. Sum up your novel in 3 sentences.
Do run on sentence's count??
Quiet Emma is forced to live the life of a spy when she learns that her father is a CIA agent. Thanks to her father's latest mission, there are people out to kill Emma. So Emma's father asks two fellow agents--Kade and Lucas--to watch over his daughter--or so Emma is told.

5. Sum up your characters in one word each.
Emma Chase - misjudged
Kade Hagan - driven
Lucas Backer - humorous

6. Which character are you most excited to write? Tell us about them!
My favorite character is Kade Hagan. He is one of the two agents that were sent to live with Emma. Kade is used to dangerous missions, so he isn't too thrilled when he is assigned to 'babysit' some girl. The only thing that consoles him is knowing that he isn't just babysitting--there's much more going on. What I love about Kade is that he's dark and mysterious--partly because of his work, partly because of his past. He is such a complex character. I think he's going to be fun and challenging to write.

7. What about your villain? Who is he, what is his goal?
Hmm... I haven't made it that far in my plotting. Some could say that the CIA plays a bit of a villain, since they are holding out on Emma. But my main bad guy has yet to make an appearance.

8. What is your protagonist's goal? And what stands in the way?
What Emma wants more than anything is to find her father, who has been missing for five years. She isn't satisfied with the message he sends through the CIA--she wants to be with him and make sure he leaves his CIA days behind him. But before that can happen, Emma needs to be out of danger and her father needs to finish his mission.

9.What inciting incident begins your protagonist's journey?
Emma is sent to live with two CIA agents, because her father's work has put her life in danger.

10.Where is your novel set? In a small town outside of Baltimore (I think... I have yet to decide).

11. What are three big scenes in your novel that change the game completely?
i.) In the prologue--before Emma moves in with Kade and Lucas--we learn that Emma's father went missing on his last mission, and hasn't been heard from since. The CIA is worried that he may have went rogue--so they want to track down Emma in hopes that they can use her to draw her father out.
ii.) Emma gets some news about her older brother, who is a Navy Seal. Later on, she realizes that Kade lied to her about the news.
iii.) Emma finds out that the CIA has been lying to her about finding her father.

12. What is the most dynamic relationship your character has? Who else do they come in contact with or become close to during the story?
That would probably be the Emma-Kade relationship (or as I like to call it, "Kemma"). They can't stand each other at the beginning of the novel. Like, really can't stand each other. Emma thinks Kade is a grumpy, cold-hearted Spook. Kade thinks Emma is a naive girl that he has to babysit. Both are wrong (except for Kade being grumpy--Emma is right about that). Throughout the novel, they start to realize that their first impressions weren't accurate and learn to actually get along.

13. How does your protagonist change by the end of the novel?
Emma gains confidence that she never had. She also learns that she can do some major butt-kicking when she needs to.

14. Do you have an ending in mind, or do you plan to see what happens?
I have an ending in mind, though there are still a few loose ends that I don't know how I'll tie up. My plans will probably change by the time I get to the last chapter, though (they always do).

15. What are your hopes and dreams for your book? What impressions are you hoping this novel will leave on your readers and yourself? (This is your mission statement, one you can look back on when the road gets tough.)
I originally thought of this novel as a TV show script, but was too lazy to write it out in script form (I hate writing scripts. a lot. novels are easier). The thought of it ever becoming a TV show is awesome, but pretty near impossible (so I console myself with picking out a dream cast and thinking of a soundtrack). What type of impression do I want it to leave? I don't know. I guess I want people to finish it thinking it was a really good book that should be turned into a movie. I really want it to be a page turner. Hopefully the characters will be real and stick with people.

Are you going to do the Beautiful Book link-up? What about NaNoWriMo--anyone else doing it this year? 


Everyone Needs a Good Fairytale

Thursday, October 9, 2014

So there's this show called Once Upon a Time.

The 22 Most Convincing “Once Upon A Time” Fan Theories

My mom and I discovered it on Netflix (ah, Netflix).
And my family instantly fell in love with it.

We Are Both - Regina Plots an Escape Once Upon A Time TV Show

It's really clean.
And funny.
And the characters are lovable.

Once Upon A Time

It's about a bunch of fairytale characters that have been cursed by the Evil Queen
(from the story of Snow White) to the town of Storybrooke, Maine.
Nobody remembers who they really are. As far as they know, they have lived in 
Storybrooke their whole lives. That all changes when a little boy discovers a 
storybook and figures out that everyone is just a cursed fairytale character.

Once Upon a Time Season this show

Every episode ends with a cliff hanger.
Every. single. one.
Because of that, I am now caught up and the episodes and enjoying the new season.
Now I just have to wait until Sunday for the next episode.

That awkward moment when Captain Hook becomes your favorite character. - Once Upon a Time.

^This guy right here is one of my favorite parts of the show.
Captain Hook. A 'dashing rapscallion.'
Didn't take long for him to win me over.
I think he's more charming than Prince Charming.

Once Upon a Time - Captain Hook aka Killian Jones played by Colin O'Donoghue. #OnceUponATime #OUAT #TV_Show

That's all the promoting/fangirling I'll allow myself.
Just take my advice and try the show.
It's pretty good.


The Story

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

It all started when I wanted to write a book about a girl who had been separated from her family in a war. Problem was, I wanted the story to take place in America in modern times. So I decided to set my story in the future. And I really liked how the story was going. Then I completely forgot about it.

 I know, I have problems.

Not long after, I read a book about a bunch of Saxons 'rebels' fighting against the Romans in early England. After I finished the book and fangirled over it for a couple of days (because that's how I roll), I decided that I wanted to write a story about rebels--because obviously rebels are exciting.

So I started to write. And things went horribly wrong. I had no plot. My big ideas were all based off the book I had just read. That meant one thing--I had to sit down and brainstorm. It didn't take long for me to remember my old story that I had started about the girl who was separated from her family. All my original ideas flooded my head again.

And inspiration came in waves.

That, my friends, was how Beginning of the End came into being.

Now, years later (since 2012 at least... quite honestly, I've lost count...) Beginning of the End is finished and is in the editing stage. This story has twisted so far from what I originally imagined. Characters have come, gone, turned from good to bad & bad to good... One thing I have learned from this story is that nothing is ever set in stone when it comes to writing.

But enough of my writing revelations.

Beginning of the End takes place in the future and tells the story of a society that gets lazy and gives up their rights to the government. The country's leader takes advantage of this new power and uses the government as a weapon to get what he wants, instead of a tool to protect the country. Not many people know what is going on and those who do know either don't care, or are too scared to do anything, until a young teenager named Peter comes along and gathers a group of people who are willing to do what it takes to get their freedom back. These revolutionaries are brushed off as young rebels who won't amount to anything.

Unfortunately for the government, these 'rebels' mean business. People keep joining the fight for freedom. The president--who is really just a dictator--decides that the best way to put out the fire is to kill Peter-- who is now in his twenties with a young wife and baby. But killing the leader of the rebellion doesn't kill the spirit of rebellion. Peter's teenage nephew takes control of the Rebels--and Peter's orphaned baby daughter.

Flash forward 16 years to 2079. Peter's daughter, Brynn, is now sixteen years old and ready to fight against the government that made her an orphan. She joins the special ops team and puts her whole self into the rebellion, hoping to get revenge in the process. Then, she discovers that there's a spy in camp...

And that's all I'm going say.

This story is more than a story to me. It's still needs smoothed out in different areas. Some days I read over my writing and think, 'This is horrible! Why do I write such junk!?' Then I sulk around and feel bad for myself. But I always come back to this novel because beneath the clunky sentences and plot holes, I see potential in this idea. And I intend to polish this book until I feel like it's actually good. Quite honestly, I'd really like to see at least 1 person fangirl over my story. Is there anything wrong with wanting that? 

I was on a inspiration high, editing every chance I got, even letting my cousin read it (who is now my writing buddy--I'm so proud of him!). But I put writing on the back burner for a little, thanks to a show called Once Upon a Time. That, however is a whole other post. Seriously, though, it is one of the best shows ever. and I love Hook.... okay, time to stop fangirling.  Now my plan is to get back into writing and start preparing for NaNoWriMo (that's right, I'm going to do it this year. or at least attempt to do it). I think I may do the sequel for Beginning of the End. Or maybe I'll do some random idea that pops into my head at the last minute. You never know with me.

How's your writing going?


Beautiful People :: July Edition

Monday, July 21, 2014

For this month's edition of Beautiful People, I decided to do the main (and my favorite) character of my novel Beginning of the End. Like all my characters, Brynn seems to have a mind of her own. One thing I know about her for sure: she is motivated by bitterness. Her parents were murdered when she was younger, so she was raised by her two teenage cousins, Erik and Vince--who knew nothing about raising a little girl, let alone have the time to raise her. As she gets older, war rages around her and her friends come home in body bags. She has a lot to be bitter about. And she's dangerous because of it.

That's the backstory. Now, I introduce Brynn Mason....

1) What's their favourite food? (Bonus: favourite flavor of chocolate!) Coffee flavored ice-cream. She has an obsession with anything that has coffee in it.

Bonus: Mocha, obviously (remember the coffee obsession??).

2) What do they absolutely hate?
When someone tells her she can't do something. What she hates even more is when she literally can't do something, usually because of her small size. And she hates being wrong. Oh goodness, does that bug her to death.

3) What do they enjoy learning about?
Every small detail about her parents is like good food for Brynn. She wants to know what their voices sounded like, what they liked to eat, how they walked.

4) Who is the most influential person in their life?
Even though Brynn never knew her father, he motivates her and keeps her thinking. She compares herself to her father and asks what he would have done if he was in her situation. It doesn't matter what living people say--if Brynn thinks her father did something a certain way, she'll do it that way, too.

5) What is their childhood fear?
Brynn was a carefree child. She felt completely safe, knowing that her cousins were there to protect her from every scary thing in the world. But all that ended when Riley's dad came home in a body bag. Ever since then, Brynn is terrified that everyone she loves will be taken away from her.

6) What is something they have always secretly dreamed of doing, but thought impossible?
//"Impossible" isn't a word in Brynn's vocabulary. She dreams of doing many things without ever doubting that they will happen. As she gets older--and the fighting rages--she begins to accept that she will most likely never make it past 21 years old.

7) What is something they are impractically afraid of?
Being alone (not the "solitude" type of alone--she loves to be alone to straighten out her thoughts). Brynn hates the thought of being alone in the world--her worst fear is that something will happen to her family and friends. Maybe the root of this fear is the murder of her parents...

8) Are they a night owl or a morning person?
Night person, definitely. Brynn feels most alive at night, especially when she's out in the woods and under the stars. As far as mornings go, there better be a pot of coffee made or else the whole day is ruined.

9) Do they say everything that pops into their head, or leave a lot unsaid?
When it comes to matters of the heart, Brynn tends to keep things locked inside--though sometimes she opens up to her best friend, Riley. Things that shouldn't be said (like smart comments and jeers) usually slip out and leave Brynn feeling like a terrible human being.

10) What are their nervous habits?
She repeatedly bites and licks her lips, often without realizing it. When she's focusing intently on something, she sticks out her tongue.

Are any of you doing Beautiful people?
I'm on a writing high this summer. It's so nice ^_^



Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Just another Wednesday. It's downpouring  outside. I really should be studying, but instead I'm relaxing in a chair, drinking iced coffee and listening to hits of the 80's (because that's just how I roll).

I know that I don't post a whole lot. But here's the thing--I've been thinking (a very dangerous thing indeed) and I have come to the conclusion that I want to be authentic. I don't want to blog just to blog. Each post should have some real meaning to them. If I feel about something, I'll write. Otherwise, I probably won't write much. I've noticed throughout the years that when I force myself to write, the words sound... well... forced (obviously). And I really don't want to bore my readers. I just want to be real. 

A lot of people have this idea that bloggers are cute women in little dresses who post about recipes and crafts and tips on housekeeping, while other people think all bloggers all nerds. There are people out there who fit both these descriptions. But this blogger right here isn't a "perfect" little blogger at all. I have faults and bad grammar, and looking back over this post, I am talking far too much about myself.

In the end, I'm just a normal person, a hopeless sinner saved by the grace of God. And I want everything I do to point back to Him, the One who saved me.

This post turned out very rambly. I guess what I mean by all of this confused jumble of words is that, I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not. I want to be real.


For the Love of Vintage

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I'm an old-fashioned girl.
(I'm also a country girl, so that brings about some... different... mixes)

Love vintage

Swing & big band music is the best. It never fails to relax me.
Oh yes.

He had just got back from the war.

When I listen to crooners they just...
(To quote Little Rascals) 'Make me melt like a popsicle on the 4th of July.'


The clothes were adorable.
And the hats?
We need to bring hats back, people.

1940s - Google Search

I was born in the wrong time.


Beautiful People: June Edition

Thursday, June 5, 2014


I decided to start (or at least attempt) doing Beautiful People every month. What is that, you ask? Beautiful People is a meme started by a blogger (whose blog I happen to follow. obviously.). It's a list of 10 questions designed to help you get to know your characters a little better. And goodness knows, a writer needs to know their characters inside and out. I decided to use this for my character Riley, in my main (and favorite) novel, Beginning of the End--because right now, Riley has me so confused. That guy has a mind of his own.

1) What is their full name and is there a story behind why they got it?
Riley Isaac Kale. His parents just happened to like the name Riley. His father chose Isaac for the middle name because it means laughter, and part of him was hoping that it would act as a sort of blessing for Riley's future.

2) How old are they, and when were they born? 
Riley is 18 years old. He was born on September 10, 2061 (the novel is set in the future).

3) Describe their physical appearance. (Bonus questions: 1. What is their race/nationality/ethnicity? 2. Do you have a picture of them? If so, include it!) 
He has deep-set, dark eyes. His nose has a bump in the middle from the time he broke it as a kid. He's tall and thin, but muscular. BONUS: Riley is American, and he is on the side of the rebels.

4) Describe your character's personality first in one word, and then elaborate with a few sentences. 
Brooding. It's hard to describe Riley in just one word. Generally, he's dark, thoughtful, quiet. Then when he's around his close friends, he actually smiles and tells jokes.

5) What theme song(s) fit their personality and story arc? 
That would probably be Superman (It's Not Easy) by Five for Fighting. 

6) Which one of the seven deadly sins describes your character?
Probably 'Hands that shed innocent blood', because Riley is a soldier. But that brings up the question: is the war Riley is fighting a just war?

7) If they were an element (fire, water, earth, air), which one would they be?
Fire. Because fire is good and valuable--yet dangerous (deep, I know.)

8) What is their favorite word?
'Victory'--Riley loves the way the word feels on his lips.

9) Who's one person they really miss? (It could be someone who's passed away, or someone they're not close to anymore, or someone who's moved away.)
His dad. Riley's father was killed when he was fourteen. He slips in and out of feeling empty.

10) What sights, sounds, and smells remind them of that person?
Old leather (Riley's dad had aftershave that smelled like it). The sound of the army moving out in the early morning, with women calling out last goodbyes. His father's old army helmet and dog-tags.

This did help me sort some things out about Riley. There is still so much to learn about him though. Oh, the joys of being a writer.

Happy June, people.


Music Speaks

Friday, May 30, 2014

I don't have much to say today (which is strange for me).

But I thought I would share some songs that I am in love with.

(just heard this. I can't stop listening to it)

(one of my FAVORITES. seriously. it's a good song. I don't know what it means, but I love it.)


(yes, I am a country girl, and yes, I love Blake Shelton)

(I also like Dean Martin. and swing/big band music in general)


Where words fail,
Music speaks.



Tuesday, May 27, 2014

I am currently....

...amazed at how awesome my God is. I asked Him for something at prayer
meeting last Wednesday night, and I got an answer the next day... thankful for my two best friends. I was praying with them the other night, and 
was so overwhelmed with how much I love them. I'm so glad they are home for the summer...

...waiting to hear the ep CD that I made with one of best friends. We have been
wanting to make one for the longest time, and finally decided to make
one this year before my friend goes away to college. Goodness, I'll miss that girl...

...listening to Moon River. I just like it... a writing mood. I spend most of my evenings *trying* to write. 
It doesn't always work out...

...very happy with my work. It got off to a rough start, but I started an
internship 4 weeks ago. God has blessed me so much
in the past weeks. And each week keeps getting better and better...

...missing my classmates. After being with them all the time, it feels
a little weird to not hear from them...

...super excited for summer. It's practically here!!!...

I'm currently loving life. What isn't to love?


Island Girl

Friday, April 18, 2014

My heart has been taken by an island girl.
She's got big brown eyes, so timid yet they are wide and full of life.
Her 2nd birthday is in July. 
My fingers want to play with her tight, dark curls, my hands want to cradle her small head.
Her skin is kissed by the sun, her smile shines brighter than the day itself.
She has absolutely no idea how much I love her, or how the thought of her haunts me.
Somehow I know that her long baby fingers will grasp mine, that she will know she belongs.
I love her before I even know her--yet I know she is perfect.
My heart has been taken by an island girl.
And I don't even want it back.

"It's Just a Fairytale, Anyway."

Saturday, March 29, 2014

"So what is Good Friday?"
"It's a Christian holiday. On the Friday before Easter."
"Yeah, it's the day that Jesus died on the cross. Then He rose from the dead 3 days later. If you believe in that kind of stuff. I don't believe in God or the Bible. But I find religion very interesting."
"It's all just a fairytale, anyway."


So went the conversation at class the other day. I listened quietly, feeling a sharp pang go through me when one of the girls said that the Bible is just a fairytale. I wanted to say something--anything--but I decided it would be best to bide my time. Class was about to start, and I didn't want to get into a big discussion. Besides, I think that getting into a big argument (and this is one subject that I get very passionate about) would hurt the cause of Christ--when I want to push it forward.

"It's all just a fairytale, anyway." It keeps playing over and over in my mind.

I really want to know something, though. If the Bible is just a fairytale, then why are people so bothered by it? Why are people so offended by a bunch of lies? No one gets offended by Sleeping Beauty or Snow White--so what makes this "fairytale"--the Bible--so different? Could it be that deep down everyone knows that the Bible is in fact true?

There are multiple reasons that I could give you for believing that the Bible is real. But if you don't have faith, then it's pointless. The problem is, if people give in and admit that the Bible is true, then that means that they are a sinner and are answerable to God. And let's face it--most people don't want to admit that they're wrong.

Blaise Pascal said, "If you gain, you gain all. If you lose, you lose nothing. Wager then, without hesitation, that He exists." The point is, if we believe in the Bible and it doesn't turn out to be true, the worst that will happen is that we'll look funny. But if we don't believe that the Bible is true, and it turns out to be right--then we are going to Hell.

I believe with my whole heart that the Bible is true. People can call it a fairytale all they want. But I know the truth. There is a God. Jesus Christ did die on the cross and He did rise from the dead after three days. The Bible is true; I will stand by that even if it means dying. The truth is, I'm staking my life on the Bible.


Excerpts from "Beginning of the End"

Friday, March 14, 2014

"It isn’t the first time that I’ve had nightmares about the day my parents were killed; the dreams come and go. I remember being a little girl and waking up screaming from the nightmares. Vince had to hold me until I fell back to sleep. I shiver. Why do I even have the nightmares? I was too little to remember anything. So why does it bother me?"

 "I scowl into the fire and try to think of something else, anything else. But my mind stays focused on the fighting and death that has become my life. First, it started with my parents; then it grew. Everyday, people I know and grew up with come home in body bags—if there’s anything left of them. Just once, I want to know what it feels like to have some type of security, to know that I’ll see my friends come walking through the front door at the end of the day." 

One of the first things I do when I have writer's block is to read through my novel. It helps me get a sense of where I want to go. When I wrote the first draft of Beginning of the End, I wasn't exactly sure what motivated my main character, Brynn. But as I edit, I realize that the main thing that keeps her going is bitterness. Her parents were murdered when she was younger, and the country is ripped apart by war--people die around her everyday. Sure, Brynn has plenty of reason to be bitter. But she completely lets her bitterness take her over. And there is nothing so dangerous as a bitter heart.


The Block

Friday, March 7, 2014

Writing. I love it. But if I'm being honest, I have to admit that while I love writing, I seem to have a love-hate relationship with it--translation: I love writing, but it hates me.

Writer's block. Yup. I have it. 

pronunciation | skrip-‘tUr-E-ent

There are a million story ideas floating around in my head (most of them happen during the middle of class. go figure), but when I try to put them down, the words are sticky and flat and just.... lifeless.

I remember a line from the Emily of New Moon series by L.M. Montgomery (some of my favorite books ever) that said something about how great the chasm is to get what you picture in your mind on paper.

I'm there right now.

So to fight off this writer's block, I create story boards on pinterest (which helps a little, but *ahem* is a HUGE way for me to procrastinate) and research ways to conquer the block. What it comes down to though, is the fact that nothing I write is good enough for me. There is some little part of me that expects everything I write to be a work of art that flows off the paper--and that isn't going to happen. Good writing comes from practice, from just sitting down and writing. Maybe the best way to beat writer's block is to write even when you hate what you write. Because otherwise, you won't ever get better.

It's something to ponder.

What helps you conquer writer's block?


Adventure {Is Out There}

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Sunshine. Blue skies. Fluffy white clouds that don't even look real. 60 degrees. Spring fever has set in deep. I can't stop dreaming about warm summer nights, grass between my toes, and staying out under the stars with friends. Summer is one thing that I hold on to like a last piece of hope.

Apart from thinking about summer, I finally decided that my word for 2014 was adventure. Even if I don't have any "adventures", I want to have an adventurous spirit--basically, I want to try to be fearless (which was my word for 2013). So here's to being adventurous in 2014.

Don't ever stop trying different things,

via | the tao of dana



Destroy fear. Face it. Go.

“Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”

As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen

Adventure.- but really.

Have a great weekend :)


Just One of Those Days

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I haven't walked in a snowy park since .. Maybe high school .. I think it's on my bucket list.. Every one should visit the past at least one time..

Irish breakfast tea. Snow. A warm blanket. It's just one of those cozy, lazy snow days. I have iTunes radio set to play 40's music, and I plan to do some serious writing later on.

Despite all the snow--or maybe because of the snow--I'm anxious for spring to come. Spring, with it's warm weather and bright sunshine. But most of all, I'm excited for my voice recital. I think that I'll probably be singing a song from the 20's (I really like old music, in case you haven't noticed...)--it's pretty exciting.

As for writing, I let it go for a while, but now I'm back into the swing of things. My second draft of Beginning of the End is still a bit rough, but it is definitely better than the first draft. I still hold the opinion that editing is terrible, though.

Apart from working on Beginning of the End and editing my Civil War novel off and on, I'd like to start a World War 2 novel. I've always wanted to write a novel in that era, but kept putting it off. So that is one of my goals for this year--to start researching the war and at least outline a WW2 novel.

Now the snow is starting to come down fast in big flakes, and it's time to say goodbye. I have a research paper to write before I can do the fun type of writing. And I need to have some coffee before I even attempt to do a research paper.

So until next time,


Thursday, February 13, 2014

So, I didn't go to Haiti.

There was a last minute emergency (last minute as in we were walking through airport security), and I ended up riding in an ambulance for the first time and spent 5 hours in a NYC emergency room with my aunt.

It was disappointing and a little scary. But I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. It made me so much stronger and I learned so much from it. I also can say that 2014 started off with a huge adventure. And that's what I wanted (although normally when I think of adventure, I think of going to Ireland and meeting an Irish guy and marrying him *ahem* Anyway...). I'll tell you the whole (and actually funny) story later.

As I was trying to decide how to blog about my adventure, I got to thinking about blogging. I rarely write anymore, even though my desire to write is as intense as ever. And while I am busy with school, I know that I could still make time to write. That was when I realized the real reason why I don't blog as much: I feel like I have nothing to write about--I have writer's block, and have since.... A long time.  Every time that I go to write a new post, my fingers dance idly on the keyboard and I think, Um... What now? My life is way too boring. No one cares what I have to say.

But I'm not writing for other people. I started this blog because I love to write. Writing helps me straighten out my thoughts--it's how I express myself, how I relax, how I vent. And I need to remember that.

So one of my goals for this year is to post at least once a week. Hopefully I'll post more than that, but I definitely want to post every week (that way you won't think I've gone and died, either).

I guess the point of this post was to say that I want to be authentic--I want my writing to be real. I want to be real. And if people want to join in my journey and read what I have to say, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. But the point of my writing is not for other people. I write to write.

That's all I really have to say. I wish I had some deep phrase to leave you with, but I don't. So have a great week.



Wednesday, January 1, 2014

This year's 2014 post is going to be a bit rushed because I leave for Haiti in a few hours. So just bear with me :)

I debated over what I want my word for 2014 to be--I still am. But I'm thinking it might be Adventure. Or Soar. 

See, I'm starting my year off with an adventure (my mission trip), so I think that adventure is  a fitting word. Eventually, I'll have a proper New Year post with my one word and my resolutions. But right now, my mind is a bit preoccupied with my trip. I'm so excited--strangely enough, I'm not too nervous, even though I have never flown before. It should be a good week, and I pray that God will use me for His glory while I'm there.

Until I get back (and after I get back), have a great new year!