Saturday, July 27, 2013


there would be darkness and chaos

it honestly is


you absolutely have to

let's be friends

they went out and happened to things.

ambedo. I get it a lot
^^I get this a lot


Be kind.

it's the truth


~ C.S. Lewis


Words are the best. Especially when they come close to describing what you've been feeling like lately. 

Have a great week, lovelies.

xoxo, Emily

Fun (But Mostly Random) Facts

Thursday, July 18, 2013

~I love to go barefoot and feel the grass in between my toes.

~Sometimes (most of the time...) I wish (and pretend) that my life was a musical

~I will probably go deaf, because I play my music very loud.

~My favorite food EVER is pulled pork BBQ sandwiches 

~Dancing is super fun. I dance around the house and annoy my brother.

~I slip Les Mis songs into normal conversation (example: on Monday, my church got together to paint some sets for Bible school... someone said that something needed to be painted red and black.... and I promptly burst into song--"Red! The blood of angry men! Black! The dark of ages past!")

~Apparently, I look like I'm 13... even though I'm 17 (I was told this while painting with my church...)

~I love Mtn. Dew..... It makes me really hyper, though. 

~I'm quiet until you get to know me/until I feel comfortable around you. And then I go crazy you will realize just how crazy I am. Ask my friends and family.

~I just discovered Duck Dynasty. 'Nuff said.

~My best friend pointed out that we are the minions in Despicable Me when we are together. And she is right.

~I make a lot of funny faces. I honestly have no idea why. But I just realized that I've made faces like these about twenty times just in the time that I've been writing this post.....

jenifer lawrence funny faces. LOL her faces are hilarious @Teagan Suminski Wilson
Queen of Derp strikes again

~Another thing I just realized.... My friends and I are the biggest conspirators on the face of the earth. It's a little scary.

~I am in a major cooking/baking mood right now. 

~{Follow up to the last fact} My appetite is also very big at the moment.

~I love food.

~Right now, I feel so different from who I was a few years ago. I guess that's called growing up. It's kind of cool. 

~I'm in love with life. But I've said that before :)

~It keeps hitting me like a punch in the gut (but a good punch) how amazing my family and friends are. I really love them. 

~I am ridiculously happy.

Thanks for reading :)


I Fail

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I fail.

I fail daily.


And over.

And over.

That's what makes me human. I know that I am not perfect, and I won't be until I get to Heaven.

You know the thing about failing, though? No matter how many times I fail, Jesus still loves me. There's something humbling about that. When Jesus died on the cross, He knew that I would fail Him everyday. And yet He still went through with it.

That's overwhelming.

Jesus loves me so much that He gave His life to save me, even though I fail Him everyday.

Just let that sink in.

I think about about humans, and how we get frustrated when those we love fail us. We don't necessarily stop loving that person, but we aren't always gracious. It's hard to comprehend.

But we will never be able to love like Jesus loves.

Jesus died even for people who hate Him and want nothing to do with Him.

If that isn't love, then I don't know what is.

I guess that this is something that has been on my mind lately. Each day, I'll do something that makes me ask, "Now why would I do that, when I know that it's sin, and I know that sin hurts God?" But the beautiful thing about God is that He will love us no matter what we do, and no matter how often we do it. Yes, it hurts God when we sin, and that pains me to know that I hurt the Person who died for me. But Jesus will never stop loving me, and He will never stop loving you. If He didn't love us, do you really think that He would have died on the cross?

So this week--this year--the rest of my life--I am praying that God will help me to live for Him, because He died for me. I will continue to fail my Savior, because I am human, and I'm not perfect. But God will give me the strength to serve Him, and I will rely on that strength. And I will be overwhelmed by the fact that Jesus will never stop loving me, even though I fail. Even though I fail Him daily.

He will always love me.

This song perfectly describes what I'm thinking right now.


No Words

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Do you ever have those moments where you just get this feeling that you can't describe? You don't even know what you're feeling, you just.... Feel so much. 

There needs to be a name for the feeling of feeling so much at once.

I get this feeling every so often. Maybe I love life a little too much. I don't know. But I'll just be sitting down and realize that I feel so much--I want to write it down, to describe it, but I can't. I can't turn it into music, I can't take a picture of it, I can't do anything; all I can do is enjoy the moment.

I guess the feeling could be called happiness. Or maybe love. I'm happy for no reason other than that I love life. I love my family, I love the way the summer air smells at night, the way fireworks crackle, the way music makes me feel like closing my eyes and dancing.

I love life.

I've heard some people say that no one can be truly happy, that no one has a truly great life--that no one's life is perfect. And my life isn't perfect in the full meaning of the word--nothing is perfect except for Jesus Christ.

But my life is perfect for me. I truly am happy. Yes, I have bad days where I feel like nothing is going right, and I get frustrated at the whole world. But for the most part, my life is amazing. It's not because of anything I do--God has given me this wonderful life. Maybe that's why I love life so much--because it is a gift from God, and I want to cherish it. Life is a great gift, and I have been so blessed.

Life is good because my brother and sister and cousins are my best friends ever. I have two great parents who love me. I have grandparents who love me (and are amazing cooks... but that's just a bonus). I have a bunch of aunts and uncles who have always been there for me, just like my own parents have. And I have amazing friends that I know have my back and want to see me happy (even if we get on each other's nerves every now and then). 

Life is good because I can smell the wet hay on summer nights. I can see the peach-colored sunset every night and then make wishes when the stars come out. I can eat deep-fried Oreos (there is going to be a full post dedicated to that subject) on the 4th of July. I can run through the soft grass in my bare feet. I can dance to loud music, and sing along with it at the top of my lungs, and swim like I'm a mermaid.

Life is more than good. It's a word that hasn't been invented yet. There probably never will be a word invented to describe the way I feel. And it's probably better if there isn't, because it wouldn't do the feeling justice. No one can put words to it, no one can capture the feeling. It's one of those feelings that make you feel content. It's one of those feelings that you just need to sit and let soak in.

They're the best feelings, after all.


4th of July

Saturday, July 6, 2013

My 4th of July was pretty great. The celebrations actually started on Wednesday night, which is when my hometown puts on their fireworks. My brother thinks this year's display was one of the best. I'm still not sure if I agree--but I will admit that the grand finale was pretty darn cool :)

After the fireworks, I slept over at my aunt's. We woke up insanely early and headed to a craft show (which was actually a lot like a fair in some ways...) and set up a table to sell Haitian bracelets. The bracelets are made in Haiti by Haitians, and a percentage of the money goes to the person who made the bracelet--it helps the Haitian mothers earn money so they don't have to put their children up for adoption. The other percentage of the money went towards our missions trip. It was really fun to get to know the other people on the team--I had a really awesome time. I also tried a deep-fried Oreo. Words cannot explain what they are like. If you haven't ever had a deep-fried Oreo, do yourself a huge favor and get one. Right now. Right. Now. It is basically an Oreo inside a funnel-cake. Yes. Eat one. Now.

After the craft show, I went back home and jumped in my pool (because it was a pretty hot 4th of July, and sitting on a black street didn't help cool me down. My shoulders look like tomatoes...). Then, my family went to my grandparent's house and we had a picnic. Fried chicken, 3-bean salad (a personal favorite... I could eat it till the cows come home... and even after they come home), Coke (you don't get more American than Coca-Cola), watermelon, and the best whoopie-pie I've ever had were on the menu. 

It was a pretty good day.

How was your Independence Day?


Comparing Myself

Friday, July 5, 2013

I was scared, and just beginning to think about giving up on something.

"Brynn would never give up," a voice whispered in my head.

I pouted and shook my head yes--Brynn wouldn't just give up because she was scared up. Then I wondered, "Why do I care what Brynn would or wouldn't do? She's just the main character of my book--I'm the one who created her."

Then I realized: when I created the main character for my novel, I created the person that I want to be. I constantly find myself saying, "Brynn would do this" or "Brynn wouldn't do this". She isn't fearless in the way most people think--she still has fears, but she ignores her fear; she won't be stopped.

And that's how I want to be, I guess.

I've been realizing what a fearful person I am. I'm not sure why--I now that I shouldn't fear anything, because fearing is another way of saying that I don't trust God enough to let Him take care of me. I need to take my hands off the situation because there isn't a single thing I can do for myself--everything is up to God. He will take care of me and I realize that.

After this thought came pounding on me, I realized that I've discovered a lot about myself simply by writing. It's pretty cool, if you think about it. Somehow, I subconsciously created a main character for my novel who is the person I want to be (except for her flaws... she's pretty messed up when it comes to her flaws). I never noticed that until just the other night, but it is so true. And that's why I always find myself comparing myself to Brynn (my main character).

My goal for this year is to be fearless. I already have conquered some fears, and I plan on conquering some more. It's a little funny for me to think that in some ways, I my goal for this year is to be more like the main character in my novel.

“Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.” 
~ Divergent, by Veronica Roth

I realize that this post probably seems rambling. These thoughts just hit me full on last night, and I felt like I needed to write them down somewhere; that always helps me straighten things out in my mind--and it has once again.

Have you ever discovered anything about yourself through writing? Or maybe something else?