My Work

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I want to let you all know that I'm over my three o'clock in the morning feeling. And it's all because of you!

(by the way, Penn State is on, and they're just taken the lead!)

Tonight, as I lay in bed, I'm going to try to straighten out the plots of my books. I need to get them down and neatly laid out in my mind. I've found out that it is somewhat hard to start writing a book without knowing what the plot is. It's like I'm stumbling around blindly, without knowing where I'm going--and that's kind of true. But enough of that. I'm sure you're all tired of me going on about my work. And it is work. No matter how many people say, "Writing? That's not work" and look down at me, it is my work. I still ask myself, though: when will people ever stop treating my writing as a child's game? It's not. I know that I'm not a Jane Austen; but I do know that my writing is my work. It's my career; and I'll defend it to the end.

I must get off now. My little sis wants on. Farewell, my friends!

P.S. Our youth group did the annual corn maze last night! It was sooo fun. By for now!


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

This post is for all my family and friends (they're kind of like the same thing). Today, I started to think about how blessed I am to have such wonderful family and friends that love me. I can't understand what I did to deserve you. God has truly blessed me. You guys mean the world to me; when I'm wrong, you gently correct me; when I'm right, you praise me; you encourage me, and make me feel like I can conquer the world. I love the song "You Raise Me Up"--it captures how I feel about you; I guess that's one of the reasons I love it--and also put it on my blog. Thanks.


Three o'clock at Night Feeling

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Last night was kind of rough. I went to bed around 10:00 or 10:30. Then I woke up at 1:38. I tried to fall back asleep, but I couldn't. So, at 4:00, when my parents woke up, I got out of bed and played the Wii. What made me wake up so early? I think that it might of been the 25mg of caffeine in the soda I had before bed (I had a late supper).

As I laid in bed for those two hours, I started to think. Now, you should all know that I love to think. Sometimes, it seems like a gift. Other times, though, it seems like a curse. I wondered why I couldn't be normal like other people--why was I different? Why did I have to be born with an imagination that exceeds all boundaries? Why do I like to think? I wish that my mind could always be clear--never thinking of anything. Then I thought, "But that's what makes me me"--I wouldn't be Emily Paige without everything I've just mentioned.

My problem is, though, that I know that. Sometimes I wish I wasn't Emily Paige. I mean, I want to keep my family, friends, where I live, and everything else the same--just not my imagination, and love of writing and thinking. Sometimes I wish that I didn't dream (not dreams at night, the aspiring types of dreams). Don't get me wrong; I love to write, I love having a big imagination, and I love to think--but not always. It's those "3:00 morning feelings" that make me feel this way, as Emily puts it in Emily's Quest.

Now that it's daytime, I feel better. I know that God made me the way I am for a reason. Maybe I can't see why I am the way I am, but I just have to "keep trusting my Lord," as the song says. And I know that without this huge imagination, I would be so dull and lifeless (that sounds like something Anne Shirley would say). The fact is, humans are never satisfied--and one of the things that they're never satisfied with is themselves. I think that everyone has said, "I'm tired of being me." When that happens to me, I feel like I need to stop writing the junk that I write. But God gave me a love of writing, and I can use it for Him. As I said before, God has a purpose for me--I'm this way for a reason. I can't change it, and if I could, I don't think I would, because I love to write. I love sitting down and thinking. True, sometimes I wish I would not think of anything. But then, life would be rather plain, and so unexciting.

Here's part of a conversation in Emily's Quest that I like.

"A little knack.....what does it amount to? Especially when you're lying awake at three o'clock at night?"
"Oh, I know that feeling......Last night I mulled over a story for hours and concluded despairingly that I could never write--that it was no use to try--that I couldn't do anything really worth while. I went to bed on that note and drenched my pillow with tears. Woke up at three and couldn't even cry. Tears seemed as foolish as laughter--or ambition. I was quite bankrupt in hope and belief. And then I got up in the chilly grey dawn and began a new story. Don't let a three-o'clock-at night feeling fog your soul."

There's more to the conversation and I'd love to put it here--in fact there's whole chapters that I'd love to put in this post from all three of the Emily novels. But that would take a long time. I might go read those books. I can really relate to Emily. We're so much a like. It's amazing to read a book that's almost like a biography. I think I'll read Emily's Quest now. Good-bye. I think I've just conquered my three o'clock at night feeling.

Rainy Days and Dreams

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Today is rainy. At least, it is out here in Meadows. I like rainy days. It makes me feel so... well, it's hard to describe. But, I feel safe, cozy, I said, it's hard to describe. I like to watch old movies on rainy days, too. Or hang out with my friends. But most of all, I like to run around outside in the rain; I like to dance, sing, walk--I like to do just about anything in the rain! I don't care if I get wet--that's one of the best parts; I'm not scared of water. While other people run for cover, I like to saunter along, by myself. I have run to shelter in the past, of course--but I would've much rather stand outside.

I'm just going to say something kind of random: Happy Birthday, Jacob! Jacob is my cousin, and he's only a year younger than I am, so he, Mark and I are always together when possible; we're like the three musketeers. I used to call our trio The Three C's--the C stood for cousin. I know, I was weird. I don't why I picked that name. It was going to be the name of the band that I wanted us to form. I was crazy.

So, for school I'm reading a worldview book called The Deadliest Monster. It was written by a Christian, and it's really good. It's really made me see--and think about--so many things that I never have before. It's also reminded me that I can't be so wrapped up in making my dreams come true and my success, that I forget Who put me on this earth and why. My purpose--the reason I'm here--is not to bring glory to Emily Paige; it's to bring glory to God. I'm supposed to do what God wants me to do. I love the song at the Wilds that goes,

All I ever want to be
Is what you want of me, Lord, I give my life to You
And all my hope and dreams and plans
I place within Your hands, Lord, and give my life to You.

Well, I must go now. I have to set the table for supper. And after that, it's an airsoft war! Oh yeah! In the rain! And, it's freezing out, so I'm told. If I catch a cold, I'm going to laugh (afterwards, of course--I hate colds). So, I will leave you now, to prepare myself for the war.

Happy Birthday, Bud

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mark!

Yesterday was my brother's birthday. We had a party with the family and it was quite fun. Before that, though, we played some neighborhood football and all of the neighborhood kids have the scrapes to prove it. The teams were Mark, Dylann, Annie, and I, then the twins, Derek and Briant. We creamed them. I'm not bragging, I'm just stating the facts. The first injury was when I asked if we could trip people (isn't that just like me?). The guys said yes, only we couldn't kick them in the knees. They showed what they meant on Derek--by kicking him in the shins (it wasn't Mark, who kicked him, either). I can't remember to much else, except that I tripped the un-trippable (you had to be there).

After that it was party time! We got to watch Mark open his presents, then--drum roll, please--we got to eat! We had chocolate cake with peanut butter icing, ice-cream, pretzels, chips, ice tea, lemonade, and oatmeal chocolate chips cookies. After we ate, we took turns playing the Wii--to be specific, Mario Kart (my mom got it for her b-day)!

When people weren't playing, they were either talking, or laughing at the people playing (hahahahaha). David and I always won--okay, I only played once. But I won that time . I was told that's because I know all the short cuts. Maybe....

And of course, Londan was fun, too! She's walking a lot now, and well, she's just so lovable! She and Annie get along so well.

(The sign on Londan's pants says: "STOP do not return product to store")

Mark got some pretty good stuff; Wii sports resort (and accessories), Super Mario Brothers, an air soft pistol, air soft bullets, air soft targets (as you can see, Mark's into air soft), a trucking game (a sequel to one he already has), a mustang shirt (thank you, Natalie and Jacob!), and a bunch of other cool stuff. Even the birthday cards were cool. We bought Mark some blue balloons to use today (he's having two neighbors over for a mini party), and I--loving to write--wrote "Happy Birthday Mark!" on one. That and "go team Blue!" Haha.

So, as you can see, I had a great time. And I think that Mark did, too. Even if he did have to get his picture taken.


Saturday, September 11, 2010

Today I witnessed something that made me proud to be an American. I felt so proud to call this land my own.

My town held one of the largest 9/11 rides in the country. My small town. It was estimated that 3,000 people rode their motorcycles.

On the radio today, they were playing patriotic songs. I enjoyed them, of course, but what gave me chills was the clips that were played; phone calls, from people on planes to their loved ones; speech's that were given afterwards. America was so patriotic after 9/11. Sometimes I wonder, "what happened?" Why are we only patriotic on 9/11? I know that there are some people who are patriots year-round--but why do the majority of us wait for one day? We should remember 9/11 all year. And we need to learn a lesson from those who gave their lives. It's the lesson of Courage. In the dictionary, courage is defined as:

Courage, also known as bravery, fortitude, will, and intrepidity, is the ability to confront fear, pain, risk/danger, uncertainty, or intimidation;

a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear

According to this definition, courage is exactly what our fellow countrymen showed nine years ago. Whether it was our rescue crews, or those in the plane that crashed in PA, they were all courageous. I can't help but wonder, "could I have done that?" I hope that I would have, if I was in those situations. And I hope and pray that someday, I will have the courage of those in 9/11.

We will never forget 9/11. Never. And every year, we will grow more patriotic. Every year, more people ride in 9/11 rides. And I think that that is only right; this is America, and no one--no one--can kill the innocent people of this land and get away with it. No one. We're all American's and we're proud. We will not let terrorism defeat us. What happened on 9/11 was a terrible shock, and it still lingers in our memory--it will always linger. It will always give us chills when we think about all the people who died on 9/11. We won't forget. We won't ever be the same. We will support our soldiers, though, who are fighting against terrorism---against those who were behind 9/11. We have to remember, to be patriotic all year round.

Never Forget

(I'll put pictures from the ride today on later)

Happy Birthday, Momma

Friday, September 10, 2010

Today is my mom's birthday, and I just want to say how great she is. I don't know where I'd be without her. Thanks Momma, and happy birthday!


Thursday, September 9, 2010

Things that I enjoy:

Being with my wonderful family. I know that I couldn't have a better family than the one I have now. I was made for them, they were made for me, and we all get along so well!

Hanging out with my dearest friends. They are such an encouragement to me. I know that I will never be able to express my thanks.

Getting to know my friends (and family) better. There's nothing like being able to find out more and more about your friends. It draws you even closer.

Writing stories and songs. It's my way of expressing myself. I can pour out my whole heart into the words--and music--that I write.

Summer nights, when the stars are innumerable. There always seems to be more stars in the summer.

Autumn days, when everything is as crisp as a... a potato chip?

Living where I do. I have to live in the most beautiful spot in the world. I don't need to live in the deep south, or the Mediterranean. I love this place.

Christmas. I love the music, baking, eating, the parties, the warmth that everyone seems to have, and remembering that God sent His only Son to die for me, and everyone else.

Music. I love to sit at the piano and play until my fingers hurt. I love to listen to my mom and my friends play their instruments (like Morgan's guitar!), and I love to listen to CD's that I like. There are some songs that express what we're feeling so perfectly, don't you think?

Family parties. (My family is full of good cooks. Ymmmm!) I love everything about family parties, but what I love most is being with my family.

Camping. The food is definitely a reason to love camping. We really know how to cook. Enough said.

Just sitting and thinking. I love to sit at my window, or outside, and think; about writing, about my family, about beauty...About anything! I love to be alone with my thoughts.

Life. Sometimes, not so much; but most of the time, I think, "I really don't have that bad of a life." I especially think this when I look over what I enjoy. It really does help to Count Your Blessings and Name them one by one. I've only listed a few; I could go on forever. And I'm sure you all could, too. I want to challenge you to all think of your blessings. Life's too short to complain about it. Like I said in one post, life is like a vapor (James 4:13-14).

Being able to trust God. It is absolutely amazing that I can trust Someone for everything I will ever need! I never have to worry that my life is going down the drain, because I have a Heavenly Father Who takes care of everything. He sent His only Son to die for me! The though of Someone loving me that much, is hard to comprehend.

Living in America. I know that I won't get thrown in prison for reading my Bible, praying, or going to church. I know that I live in the lap of luxury--no, my parents aren't millionaires, but--because we live in America--we are blessed. And that makes us rich.

Laughing. I love to laugh. I love to laugh so hard that my stomach hurts, I start to cry, and I can't even breath. That is awesome.

Reading. It takes me far away, and--with the Emily Novels--is helps my writing. Plus, I can get some pretty goods quotes.

Photography. I love to take pictures. There are so many times when I see something, and I race to get my camera--or, if my camera isn't there, I sit and mourn over not having it with me. But I take my camera everywhere, so I don't usually have to mourn too much.

Road trips. I love road trips. Whether it's singing off-key songs (actually, that's not too enjoyable), or playing games, road trips are fun.

Summer thunder storms. It gets so creepy, and--where I live--it gets really windy. Of course, I don't enjoy the thought of a tornado, but, other than that, I like summer thunder storms.

Making lists. You're all probably thinking, "Duh." Or, maybe you're thinking that I'm weird. But either way, it's true. I like to make lists. I'll sit down and force myself to think of a reason to make a list. Yeah, it's true.

Day-dreaming. If you've ever heard me blog, you will probably know this to be true. I love to daydream. So, so much.

Making other people laugh is something that I love to do--well, only if I'm trying. Of course, if I fall and think it's funny, too, then go right ahead and laugh--but remember, laugh with me, not at me. No, actually, that's okay. I'm accident prone, and I'm so clumsy, that it isn't right to ask you not to laugh. I laugh at myself all the time, anyway. Ask Morgan, she knows. I trip over flat surfaces. I deserve to be laughed at.

Being homeschooled. (Random thought: the spell-checks obviously don't know how to spell "homeschooled"--it's not two separate words. At least, it's not the way, I spell it.) Being homeschooled is cool because I don't have to wake up super super early (that's pretty nice), I get to help pick out my curriculum, and if I need help (like on Algebra) my mom's right there.

Once again, I must say how much I enjoy my life. I wake up, eat, do school, hangout with my friends (Mark and Annie), cream (or get creamed) on the Wii, write, dad comes home, I go outside (sometimes), play football with neighbors, wave at cousin, write some life is awesome. I sit at my window and not do anything but breathe and enjoy the fresh air (really, I don't know why I'm obsessed with my window) and...well, my life is awesome! And right now, I'm going to thank all of you who make it possible for my life to be awesome. Thanks!

How can anyone look at this and say that they're not blessed?

Pure Craziness

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Second day of high school. It went extremely well. (And that is the end of my extremely random sentence--yay, randomness! Right, Sarah?)

Last night, I played some football with Mark and the neighbors. It was fun. I scraped my knees a little, but isn't that the best part of football? Having the scrapes to prove it? After that, my brother and I came inside and did a whole scene from Night at the Museum 2 together (the scene with Brandon--"most popular baby names, 1984--Brandon" LOL). It was pretty awesome. Not like the original, but it was pretty good. I love that movie; Mark and Sarah are hopefully used to my quotes by now (I'm always quoting the movie).

Anyway, I tried to write a second draft to one of my books, but failed utterly. In the first place, I think I failed utterly (maybe not utterly) with the first draft--although, I think that I might of had something with Part 2 of the first draft. Right now, I'm trying to decide whether or not to try to fix the story line--or if I should even bother with the story at all (it's only a short story that I finished last year).

We've been watching old home movies, lately. Not ones that my parent's have taped, but one's that us kids have made. They can get pretty crazy. Unless you've known me for a long time (since I've been seven, at least) you have no idea how crazy I was when I was little. And you never will. Until you watch those home videos. There's one in particular. We didn't even make it. My aunt was taping us one day; I was being a news reporter to a wrestling match between Mark, my pappy, and I. That's all that I will say. My brother loves to show it to anyone (no, it's not a typo, I mean, anyone). I will admit, it is hilarious--you might just die of laughter. But my brother is threatening to show it at my wedding, if I ever get married. I told him I don't care; it isn't my graduation party. I think that would be worse.
There are a bunch of other home movies, too (my brother and I were always making movies). Sometime, we'll make another one. It will be crazy, no doubt. And funny. Maybe I'll show it to you. Just so you can see how crazy I am.

Enjoy the nice hot weather,
You're Crazy Blogging Friend.

High School

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Today was my first official day of high school. My first day as a freshman. Emily the High Schooler. Emily the freshman (sorry, I wanted to see how it looked). I am now counting credits. The thought sounds a little scary, but it's not that bad.

Today, I started to read Frankenstein. Actually, I only finished the introduction and the preface--then I watched some home movies with Mark. I plan to read more soon, though. I'm excited to read it. It looks good. Someday, my hope is to write a book that will be the equivalent to Frankenstein. But, the chances of that happening are pretty slim.

Tonight we are having spaghetti. I am quite excited. I like spaghetti. I mean, it's not my favorite food, but it's good. Must go, it's supper time. Goodbye, blogging buddies!


Saturday, September 4, 2010

When you get writer's block, what do you do?

All I can come up with is: sit and think. So,I start to think of an idea for my incomplete "work of art", and it's amazing; then, a few hours later, I start to add the idea to your book. And it's a monstrosity (okay, I'm being a drama queen). The idea that was once full of flavor and life is now bland and lifeless.

I'm sorry that I'm venting. But I'm sort of stuck on the mystery that I started. I've come to a dead end. I mean, I have the whole plot mapped out--but when I sit down to write it, I can't find words for my ideas. Am I losing my touch? Maybe I'm not a writer. I truly believe that I am, though. Why else would I have such a desire to write? I once heard someone say that "ink flows through my veins" (or something like that).

And then of course comes the question, "Which book is more important to me?" I know, this sounds totally off subject, right? And you're probably also wondering how many books I've started. I've started...well, I can't even count the many books that I've started. I wish I wouldn't start a book, and then go and start another one, but I can't help it. I come back to them eventually (the ones that I don't come back to..well.... I know that they aren't any good). Right now, I'm constantly thinking and working on one novel--my favorite novel. This novel is the novel that I slave over, working out plots. I have started it three times, because I didn't think it was good enough. I'm constantly working on the characters, and mapping out each of their lives. This is the novel that I want to see published. I won't tell you about it now, because it's still a work in progress, and...well, to tell the truth, I'm not sure what other reason there is. I know that there is one, but for the life of me, I can't decided what it is. Anyway: I figure that if it never gets published, then... I might not show it to anybody. But I'm going to bend over backwards until I get it published--or break (that's a figure of speech, of course). I'll just have to be constant. Constantly constant (pardon my redundancy). Call me Constance, to remind me to be constant, will ya?

I'll leave you to your own selves now. I'm sorry that I have probably bored you to death. On a more random note, was it not a nice day? Personally, I think that it was really cold (I like 80-90 degree weather, remember?), but for the most part, it was nice. We got to have all the windows open, after all : ) Now, I'll go. I think that I'm going to devote the night to writing. Yeah, I like that idea a lot.