Another Run in With... Fear

11:26 PM

Well. May is even crazier than April: I played the flute at my friend's wedding on Saturday, and everything went really well. My brother has baseball every night. I'm trying to finish up with school because I'm graduating (aaa!!!). And I'm planning on going on a missions trip to Haiti (prayers are appreciated) later in the year. I feel like I have no free time. But I do. I just have to plan out my day. Unfortunately, that's not my favorite thing to do.

I still have time for thinking, though. And lately, I've been thinking about fear. One of my friends once said that we always think fear is some simple, innocent thing. But it's not. Fear is not trusting in God, fear is not believing in God. If I'm scared of something, then I'm not trusting that God can take care of me or the situation. 

So what am I scared about right now? Too many things. Yeah, it's cool to think that I'm going to be done with high school soon... But now I'm faced with a ton of choices about college--do I want to go? What do I want to do? All I want to do is get married, have kids, and then be a stay-at-home mom who homeschools. But I feel like I should have some sort of skill. It's all so confusing.

And then there's the missions trip. If you know me, then you know that I like my family. A lot. I don't like to go away from them for any long amount of time. I get homesick very easily. Part of me is scared to death about leaving the country. Without my parents. And flying on an airplane. That's a big step for me. But my grandfather is going, and I know some of the people going--so I'll be taken care of. 

I'm excited for the trip. I'm nervous for the trip. I'm a mess of mixed up emotions. But I've been praying about this opportunity for a long time now, and I believe that it is God's will for me to go--I'll be working in a school for children and with orphans.

 I was reading my Bible this morning and looked for verses that might help me. I came across the verse that says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."~James 1:27. God has commanded us to take care of the fatherless. I don't want to get to Heaven and stand before God and hear Him ask, "I gave you the opportunity to serve Me. Why didn't you?" and have to reply, "Because I was scared." I can't be selfish. I can't give up the opportunity that to serve and glorify Jesus.

So these are the things that run through my mind nearly every minute of the day. But I'm trying to trust God, and cast all my care on Him. Because God is in control. And He will take care of me. How can I fear when I have Jesus?

When shadows fall and the night covers all
There are things that my eyes cannot see.
I never fear, for the Saviour is near.
My LORD abides with me!

How can I fear? Jesus is near!
He ever watches over me!
Worries all cease; He gives me peace.
How can I fear with Jesus?

When I'm alone and I face the unknown
And I fear what the future  may be,
I can depend on the strength of my Friend!
He walks along with me.

How can I fear? Jesus is near!
He ever watches over me!
Worries all cease; He gives me peace.
How can I fear with Jesus?

Jesus is King! He controls everything!
He is with me each night and each day.
I trust my soul to the Saviour's control;
He drives all fear away!

How can I fear? Jesus is near!
He ever watches over me!
Worries all cease; He gives me peace.
How can I fear with Jesus?

~How Can I Fear, by Ron Hamilton


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  1. Wow, these are some big steps.

    I can totally relate to the whole college thing; I only want to be a stay at home mom, too. But as my parents are separating and money is going to be tighter and there is no assurance I'll be getting married soon, my Mom has been gently encouraging me to look at courses at the community college and to think about what kind of job I would want. So, I completely understand your confusion. :*(

    And the mission trip sounds like a huge step! I have flown on airplanes but they do make me very nervous!

    I'll be praying that your paths shall be made clear and straight and that you will be able to trust completely in God! Love you, girly!


    1. It's an extremely confusing time of life. I'll be praying for you as you try to come up with ideas :)

      Thank you so much, Jamie. Your comments always brighten my day! Love you too! :)

  2. “Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” ~ Jim Elliot

    You are not alone! My sister and I often discuss how us girls grow up always assuming that once we finish school we will officially be grown-up and we'll get married and do what our family did all over....then at we finally reach the end of school and find a gap. For most of us, it's the first major gap that is up to us to bridge. Talk about tough and scary and exciting all at once!
    Also, I totally share the just-want-to-get-married-and-have-kids sentiment. It's a God given desire; but not encouraged in our present culture, so never be ashamed of it!! All the same, don't rush. Learn and grow in experience through every opportunity - missions trip, summer job...whatever you find to do, do it with your might. :) God leads us and teaches us one step at a time. The farther I go along, the more look back and wish I had not spent my whole time in one stage thinking about the next. I wasn't all there, I wasn't as effective as I could have been, I missed out on a lot. So enjoy it! And don't get all worried that you'll miss out, just be where you are while you're there. ;)

  3. Aww, thank you so much for this, Lizzy! Your comment was such a blessing--it really help me :)


Thanks for taking the time to comment--I read each one :)

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