I Am Resolved

1:23 PM

It's flurrying right now. That always puts me in my hopeless romantic mood. Here she goes again, you all say.

I can't help it, though. I'm a whimsical person. I've discovered that much this year. I love the feeling, too. I am the type of girl who believes in Peter Pan and wishes that I could go to Neverland.

Because I never want to grow up.

I wish I could've stayed a little kid forever. Sure, high school is okay. But everything is simpler when you're younger. When you're little, the only bad guys are in storybooks. And if there were bad guys in real life, they would certainly be wearing a black cape.

But there's no such luck in real life. Sometimes the bad guys are famous and well liked, and no one sees the evil in them.

As I stare out the window, and watch the flurries fall, I listening dreamily to my Peter Pan soundtrack and want to cry. There's no going back to the old days. I can never go back to my wonderful U.K.M. All I have now are memories. And memories have to be the most bittersweet thing in the world. Sure, we need memories--but when we remember something, isn't there a sting of remorse once we realize that memories are just that--memories? We can't go back, we can only replay what we've done, and watch sadly, wishing we had loved a bit deeper, enjoyed ourselves a little more--and held on a little tighter.

The years fly by and there's nothing we can do. I think that one of my problems this year was that I was so worried about the future--college, and things--that I forget to enjoy what was happening right then. This is one of my New Year resolutions: Live in the Moment. Because that's really all we have. We can't live in the past, because the past is gone; we can't live in the future, because we're not sure if we have one; but we must live now because that's all we've got for the moment.

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