The Future (Enter Darth Vader)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Future. That's a word that scares me. It seems that I spend a lot of time brooding over what the future will be like. I guess that's good. I like to be prepared, so I start thinking about college now; I pretty much know the color scheme of my house when I'm older--what kitchen appliances I want. But just once--at least for one day--I want to stop worrying about ten years from now.

Maybe that's foolish. Is it? Please tell me. I'm just tired of living in the future all the time. I think the Bible says something about the foolish man living in the moment and the wise man thinking ahead. But I'm more than thinking over it.

I know that every step I take shapes my future. I suppose that's why I'm so...curious...about the future. Have you ever done something you didn't like--something you really disliked--just because of the future? I'm not talking about saying "no" to drugs; I'm talking about something that is harmless, but it will help you (I can already hear people saying, "school"). What I'm talking about is getting up in front of about a thousand people doing something that you don't enjoy and you have a history of getting sick when you're up in front of people. But, you really want a scholarship or to get discovered. Yep, that's what I'm talking about. Ever done that? I'm facing that decision now.

Some people I know would really like me to do something; and I know that doing it would be good for me. I might even enjoy. In fact, parts of it, I bet I would enjoy. But this "thing" requires a lot of commitment; on the other hand, making the commitments would make me a better person. And this would all look good on a college transcript. So, as you can see, I'm kind of stuck. Part of me has absolutely no desire to do this. The other half does want to. Part of me says, "do it for your future." Another part says, "don't do it." I'm so confused.

Tonight, my brother has a baseball game, though, and I can think it over then. Maybe even talk to one of my friends. That usually clears my head. But still. Thoughts are appreciated!

1 comment:

  1. Well, look at it this way Emily - what happens when you get to that "future?" Then, do you pick a new future, then a new one, then a new...etc. to always be worrying about. When do you enjoy the present? When you're retired? Yes, it is good to prepare for the future but I think everything needs to be done in moderation. The Bible tells us that we don't know if we'll even have a tomorrow. How sad if you didn't enjoy "today."

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment--I read each one :)