I Should Be Asleep

9:50 PM

I suppose that I should be in bed now. I should be getting used to being in bed by nine o' clock, for school. But I'm awake; I'm not even home. I'm at my Mee-Mee's house. Mark wanted to watch Texas play against Washington in the Little League World Series (we don't have cable, or dish or anything like that). So, that's why I'm not in bed.

I watched the movie, Finding Neverland the other night. If J.M. Barrie was truly like what he was in the movie, then I think that I am like him. A huge imagination, a desire to write...We're the same. Then of course, I had to watch Peter Pan. I love that movie. And I'm not talking about the animated version. I'm talking about the one with real people. It. Is. Amazing. The music is amazing. Peter Pan has to be one of my favorite movies. My imagination seems to grow another size whenever I watch it. And talk about dreamland...

My imagination...Sometimes I wonder whether or not it's a curse. I have so many ideas for stories, and songs, but it feels like I'll never be able to put them into words; it feels like I won't ever be able to express my huge imagination. I wish...I wish I could write my imagination down on paper. A line of a song I like says I hope "Your dreams stay big and your worries stay small". Well, as for the big dreams, there's no worry that my dreams will ever get small. Worries staying small...well, that's another story. I'm a little worried that I'll never make it; worried that I won't be a bestseller. But I've been thinking. Yes, one of my biggest dreams will be shattered if one or two of my books never get published; but it won't break my heart. I enjoy writing. I don't write so I can say, "I have a book published"--I don't write for the fame. I write because I want to. I write because I need to . I write, because I have to. Ever since I can remember, I have been writing plays for my family to perform; once, when I was three or four, I wrote a story. The point is, I was born a writer. And that is exactly why I can still smile if my books aren't bestsellers in Borders, or Barns and Nobles. I am a writer. No one can make me anything else. I can't make me anything else. Believe me, I've tried.

I'll stop venting now. I've been in an imaginative mood, lately. I've been in...I don't know what you call it. I'll just say that I'm being thoroughly Emily right now. Goodbye. Pardon me for any and all typos. I have to go, now. Also, if you could pray for me. I have a sore throat and a little bit of a cough. Bye.

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  1. Emily, I don't know how you can write so well on your blog when chaos is around you like it was last night. We were all carrying on and yet you still can write. You amaze me! And you write so well. I am so proud of you.

  2. I love your music selections!

  3. Thanks! I love all of these songs. There are a few more that I'd like to add, but I can't remember what they are right now. Haha. Isn't that just like me?


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